The Weekday Update

I am aching to blog and have a note book half full of ideas and thoughts for posts to prove it. Some day soon I’ll get the time. Here is a wrap up of our week for you family and friends that are interested:

Pratt is taking a morning nap! (and the heavens rejoiced and the Johnson mother cried tears of joy) That and he is feeling 100% back to himself after being sick for what felt like a month.

Kerry is now on his last quarter of grad school!!! He is now on a job search. He has really good contacts, an impressive resume, and a winning smile. We have no idea what’s going to happen. We could be moving in 3 months, no one knows.

Seattle is BEAUTIFUL right now. I can’t wait until summer and I’m going to be mostly sad if we do move and I don’t get to indulge in it.

THIS april fools joke made me laugh outloud. I used to work in an office. I’m giggling at the thought.

I’ve been following along a friends 30 day project. This is totally not something I typically do but… why not?

We instituted Friday homemade pizza night. It’s probably the greatest thing to happen to our family since Pratt got here. I highly recommend it. We try new crusts and sauces every week. I will tell you this peaches belong on pizza. TRY IT!

I’m trying out new meds. It’s a slow progression to get up to the full dose and we are praying they help my lows a little bit more than what I was on before. Cross your fingers for me. The “figuring out meds” game is so annoying.

We found board games for Lou that we LOVE. It’s a cooperative game and the best part is she can play with her friends without me regulating, she can even play by herself! We have THIS one and THIS one.

Pratt STILL isn’t walking. Not that I really care. It’s just funny that he took his first steps 2 months ago and now refuses to. The little bugger.;)

Maybe I’ll get to a little more in depth blogging this week with the bugger napping. We’ll see!



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a late night of too tired thoughts

mind is racing

yet feeling dead

too much

too little

not enough

and then there is the reminder of crying and the tugging and the “hold me” “feed me” “i want you” and more crying and more touching


but for now it is quiet

a moment of still


but the head spins

and the room is cluttered

and the dishes aren’t done

and behind it my fingers scream to unfasten the fury in my head

yet my mind and my emotions and my heart are






too tired to feel

to spill

to discover and let loose all that remains stifled and stilled behind the today of mom


so instead of a pencil

instead of a keyboard

instead of a paintbrush

i turn on the noise of the net to let it drown

the noise of movie trailers

the noise of social media

the noise of nonsense that only makes me feel more guilty

more ashamed

more resentful for not spilling the chaos and screaming

I am a person

I am me

I am alive


another moment of still

and the thought of pillows and deep comforting escape win


hello bed



maybe tomorrow the screaming fingers will be heard

maybe tomorrow



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Thank you! Her birthday was perfection!

Wow. Thank you!! When I put out a call for snail mail I had no idea so many people would respond. The entire week was magic. Lou got so many cards, a few treats, some packages, and far too many dollar bills. THANK YOU. Seriously. You made this girls birthday.

Sometimes, (a lot lately in my case) you need help as “Mom”. Lou’s birthday would not have been so great without all of you and I would have been a wreck feeling so much guilt over it. Thank you to the village for picking up my slack. I owe you. Really. Thank you.

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A Call for Snail Mail

I cannot believe that this girl is going to be 4 years old in 2 weeks. CRAZY that I will be a mother to a 4 year old!

Her birthday is in a week and a half, March 3rd and I had a really great thought of how to celebrate her birthday.


Lou LOVES mail. She loves getting cards, packages, and even junk mail. She lights up when we go downstairs to check our mailbox and she eagerly asks for me to lift her up so she can peak in the box. She just loves it, and who doesn’t? Getting snail mail is the best!

So here’s the thought: BLAST HER WITH SNAIL MAIL.

Obviously this requires the participation of YOU.

I would be incredibly grateful and excited if you would help me out.  You could send her anything. A card, a piece of paper with a drawing on it, an envelope with a penny. Whatever. An envelope with her name on it would suffice. She would LOVE it. Help me out?

Email me, FaceBook me, or text me for our address. 

THANK YOU. This is going to be such a fun Birthday Surprise for her!


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Wednesday Ramblings

- I am so grateful for all of the positive feedback from last weeks post, A Depression Confession. I know I’ve talked about my moods before but never so loudly and it was a terrifying thing to do. Since having 2 kids I have been pulling more and more away from photography as a profession and have been feeling more of a draw towards writing and blogging. I’ve been at a bit of a loss as to what to direct my blog towards and I think the universe just shoved me into the right path. Ready for some more depressing posts?  Thank you again for all of the comments and emails. It was uplifting and encouraging and I’m excited to be dedicating myself (again) to feeling good. (5 days now on the tiny white pill whoot whoot!)

- The images above are from this fabulous kids clothing line I discovered last week. I love every last thing the shop. Feel free to get anything in here for Lou’s birthday.

- I’m migrating over to Google+. Facebook just isn’t doing much for me anymore. Want to know what I’m talking about? Check out THIS video. Add me to your Google+ circles and I’ll add you back!

- WE ARE SLEEPING!!!! I have an entire post to write about it so I won’t say too much other than now that I am sleeping more than a few hours overnight, I can’t believe I did that for months and months. WOW, sleep is SOOO important!

- My friend Jessica Peterson is doing a workshop this Saturday in Salt Lake on studio photography. If you are a photographer, CHECK IT OUT. It will completely and utterly worth it, promise. Jessica is the best, and amazing, and one of my favorite people ever, and I’m not just saying that. She’s an amazing photographer, you will learn lots!

- It’s non stop rain here in Seattle this week. I’d be content to be in bed all day snuggling with the kiddos but Lou, (and even Pratt) are going a bit stir crazy. What should we do? It’s not too cold so outside is still an option. Whether you are local or not, throw me some ideas of places to go and see and explore? It would be greatly appreciated!




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