A reply to that one blog post I never read

There is a blog post going around the nets right now about stay at home moms. You know the one, the one that has been posted and reposted dozens of times on FB and blogs and even the news. From what I’ve gathered from comments and quips the post is a women’s rant on stay at home moms and her efforts to shame them for choosing that life.

Real classy, I know.

Being a stay at home mom as well as a feminist you think I would be up in arms over the post. I’m not, and in fact I haven’t even read it, and I won’t. I don’t need to to that it is a lie. It is an act to gain attention. It is a misunderstanding. It is pride. It is really really sad. I don’t need to read it because I KNOW that women, whether single, married, working, or a stay at home mom, are extraordinary when we make the choice to support one another in our choices instead of tearing each other down.

I see the extraordinary frequently.

I saw it after my miscarriage. I saw it when I was pregnant. I saw it when I was in labor. I saw it just last week after writing a post expressing frustration. After all of these events I have received an outpouring of love from women of all different backgrounds extending a eagerness to help me. When I wrote the post expressing my inability to sleep because of a sleepless 8 month old, I expected comments of  “I’m so sorry, good luck.” and instead got dozens of messages (and I’m still getting them) like,

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m coming to get the kids right now so you can take a nap.”

“Here is this great book about no sleeping babies.”

“I’m making you dinner. Doing your dishes. Folding laundry.”

I EVEN got a “I’ll be by to pick up your kids at 5:30. Pack them a bag, they are sleeping over. Please. Let me.” 

Not one person texted me “You know, you made the choice to have kids, buck up.” Or ‘that’s what you get” or “You know, I’m sure it’s not that bad, you are just whining.” Nope not one.

And when a friend or expresses frustration about her job or schooling I don’t say or think “you know, if you just got married this wouldn’t be a problem.” or “That’s what you get for dumping so-and-so last year.” Nope. And not one of you would either.

Why? Because most women, most PEOPLE for that matter, are kind, caring, and understanding. And more importantly, regardless of our life choices and our current places WE ALL MATTER and we ALL make an difference to one another.

This girl. This person saying these awful things about stay at home moms, she’s just one person that we are giving far FAR too much credit and attention to. SHE matters, because we ALL matter, but what she is saying doesn’t unless you let it. It is HER problem, it is HER anger, her sadness, her judgment, and her pride. It has NOTHING to do with us and the only thing I will be taking away from it is the importance of building each other up, of supporting one another, of caring and loving each other, like most of you already are.

Thank you for your kindness, for you influence, and wonderful example of women hood and community and love. It has made a huge impact on my life and I hope to pay it back and forward in the future.

When have you seen the extraordinary?


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I’m so envious of stay-at-home moms…. and while I refuse to read that blog post, I can see how it would be easy to judge when you’ve never had first hand experience.

I too have received so much out-flowing of kindness in tragedy. I still often don’t know why we were so loved when we needed it most, but it reflects every day in how I act towards others.

Perhaps this woman will one day feel that same flow, and come to realize just how much she missed by not being on the kind and giving end of life.

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